Why didn’t anyone tell me this before I gave birth?

 

People tell you a lot of things about birth, how much it hurt, how badly they tore (they needed a WHOLE SPOOL of thread to sew me up… uhhhh sure), about their birth plan and/or how perfect or awful their birth was.  Some of that may be true, but here are some things NO ONE warns you of regarding labour and delivery.

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Why didn't anyone tell me this before I gave birth - People talk about a lot of things after giving birth, some are common knowledge, some common sense, but not everything is talked about.

    • There is NO privacy in the delivery room, you have no control over who comes in and out of the labour room.   When I was giving birth there was no joke over 10 people there.  No, I was not happy about it, but since I had already been pushing for two hours and didn’t have the mental ability to yell at the nurses and students to get out I had a big audience staring at my crotch while I pushed out a baby.

 

    • Labouring with AthenaYou have no control over your modesty.  You *think* by telling people to stay by your head you can spare them some nudity and keep some privacy.  Nope.  They have to get in and out of the room and your legs are wide open for HOURS sometimes, so there is no hiding that.  Also, people kept stripping me without my consent!  When they want me in a gown, my clothes come off and I can’t do anything about it.  Baby comes out, they wipped off all the blankets and gowns covering me to place baby on my boobs, my mom was there (and that whack of strangers) so I did not appreciate having my coverings ripped off to expose my naked post-baby body to everyone.  Or have them watch me catheterized or getting stitched up after, or delivering a placenta.  Unfortunately, you do not have an option sometimes.

      Choose who you want in the delivery room very carefully, you will not be able to control what they see… neither will they for that matter.

    • toilet-1552924You go to the bathroom in front of people.  Whether it is someone bringing you to the bathroom during labour (yeah not something you want an audience for either) because they alone, or after, or just the nurse saying she has to see you pee after, yup, you get to do that in front of people too.

 

    • shower-1427304People have to help you shower, and by people, I mean my husband lol.  You know you are close when your husband helps you wash all the post-baby/labour off of you!

 

    • You can be in the early stages of labor for WEEKS.  Yup, not kidding.  With my first I had contractions every hour for a week before I had her.  I am talking tears of pain, gasps, and sometimes screams.  I could not sleep for longer than two hours without waking up screaming with contractions.  It sucks so bad!  You are so tired of them and exhausted before labour even starts.

 

    • You may not even notice when your water breaks.  I KNEW it with my first but my second, no idea when it broke as I wasn’t sure it even did until I had the baby.  On TV the water breaks, then they go into labour.  Yeah, that RARELY happens.  Most women have their water break during labour or someone has to help break it.  Your water may not break all the way so the doctor/midwife might have to help break the rest of it.  This is not comfortable and can be a little painful I might add.

 

    • Getting “checked” aka how dilated you are is super uncomfortable and hurts really bad during a contraction.  Brace yourself and breath.   I actually yelled at my Midwife “get out get out get out!” when I got a contraction in the middle of my internal.

 

    • st-bernard-1257090Sorry to be graphic but…… it seriously feels like you are trying to poop out a Saint Bernard, the way baby comes down, you honestly feel like they are trying to come out of your butt.  I said this sooo many times in labour to my husband!  “How are you doing sweetie”? “It feels like I am trying to poop out a Saint Bernard”!!  Cue everyone’s laughter including mine .

 

    • Newborn PoHaving the baby is not the end of labour.  You still have to deliver the placenta afterwards, which does require a little pushing and stuff.

 

    • Contractions also do not stop after labour.  After-birth pains, which get more painful and worse with each subsequent child, so so painful!  Advil and Tylenol do not take the pain away!!

 

    • Baby PoHours after birth you will be ready to do it all over again.  My sister asked me when she came to visit me with my first, would you do it again? I said yes, just not right away!

 

  • You will be amazed at how in love you are with this new baby.  They have already stolen your heart before they are even born, once you meet them you’re done.  If almost hurts how much you love them!
  • Daddy LoveYou will fall in love with your husband all over again!  Watching him with your new little bundle of joy will melt your heart and fill you with another kind of love too

 

What were you unaware of before you had to give birth?  Any surprises during labour or in the delivery room?  Please share them in the comments below.

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Why didn't anyone tell me this before I gave birth - People talk about a lot of things after giving birth, some are common knowledge, some common sense, but not everything is talked about.

 

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Why didn't anyone tell me this before I gave birth - People talk about a lot of things after giving birth, some are common knowledge, some common sense, but not everything is talked about.

 

 

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A mom of two trying to stay sane while running a household, working part-time from home and looking after her baby, toddler and husband.

77 comments

  1. avatar
    Tiffany says:

    You’re right on the money. Except I was never ready to do it again – ha. One traumatic birth was enough for me and everyone else in my life. I think it’s beautiful thing though and you’ve described it very well.
    Tiffany recently posted…8 Tips to Get Published NowMy Profile

    • avatar
      Hil says:

      Glad to help then 🙂 just remember, I had two, if it was so bad people would stop at one! Not fun, but totally manageable 🙂

  2. avatar
    Shann Eva says:

    Yes! I totally agree. I had no idea how many people would be in the room! I had really wonderful nurses that helped me shower, but I had no idea how much blood there would be…..everywhere! I had an epidural with my first, so I luckily, didn’t get the afterbirth pain…until it wore off. Ugh. But, I would do it all over again for my beautiful babies!
    Shann Eva recently posted…The NICU stay and Preemie MondayMy Profile

    • avatar
      Hil says:

      Yes, C-sections can be scary, but also come with their own series of pain. As long as mama and baby are safe and healthy. that is all that matters!

  3. avatar
    Lindsay says:

    I loved this post!! I was definitely surprised when I was taken to my room after delivery that the nurse escorted me into the bathroom, explained how to do everything, and proceeded to stand there and watch. I was like ummmm, you can go, and she said she had to stay there for the first two times I went to make sure I was okay. Yikes! The nurse laughed and said she could tell I was a first time mom.
    Lindsay recently posted…Whimsical Woodland PartyMy Profile

  4. avatar
    Tiffany says:

    Did I comment on this this morning? Ha – if not I’ll comment again! These are really great things to keep in mind – especially the naked parts! lol

  5. avatar
    Sarah says:

    I totally understand! No one told me about the St Bernard coming out of my nether regions either! There is very little to no privacy in having a baby, but I def got over it after my first, by my 3rd, who gives a crap? It does sound like your care was different than mine. No one followed me around when peon or showering. I didn’t have an epidural with my 3rd and the after care was very lax. Congrats on your bundles of joy. You are now in the club.

  6. avatar
    Whitney says:

    I love this!! Where was this list before I had 2 kids? Lol you are so right.. Nobody tells you that. All I heard before was how painful it is.. And how you could rip or tear down there. Which is horrifying enough. This list is great, and the only thing I would add is, sometimes epidurals HURT.. It’s a huge needle going into your spine. But so worth it might I add lol.. This perfectly descibes what you most likely will def have to go through during labor. Except- I cannot believe you were feeling contraction for so long! That’s crazy. More power to you girl! 🙂 You are stronger than me for sure. I was almost in tears after a few hours of contractions, and praying for an epidural.

  7. avatar
    twitchetts.com says:

    Wow, I would have to say your doctors seem a bit over the top with how exposed they let you feel. When I delivered my nurses and doctors always pulled the curtain when they would come in and check me. I wore a nursing bra under my gown so I could place the baby on my chest without being exposed. The main thing is your right. I think most people don’t tell you these things because like you said as soon as it’s over, it’s over! It all becomes a blur when you look into those sweet babies eyes 🙂 I am sure that this will give some mamas to be a good idea of how to make sure they talk with their doctors and nurses about how many people and how modest they would like to be in the delivery room!

    • avatar
      Hil says:

      ha ha too true!! They were midwives actually, but in the hospital there ended up being a doctor and nurse there and they each had students so…….. yeah. Next birth was at home and only the two midwives, my doula and hubby were there so much better!

  8. avatar
    CourtneyLynne says:

    Omg yes! I was so uncomfortable when my daughter was born because everyone wanted to be in my room at all times! And Ughhh… I had an emergency c-section so you end up having to ummmmm use the bathroom a lot…. Which is what docs want to see because that means hit h along correctly… But it’s not something you want to do indeontbof 6290 people lol… I don’t care how comfy your are with your hubby and fam… Pooping like that in front of people is never comfy lol

  9. avatar
    CourtneyLynne says:

    Omg yes! I was so uncomfortable when my daughter was born because everyone wanted to be in my room at all times! And Ughhh… I had an emergency c-section so you end up having to ummmmm use the bathroom a lot…. Which is what docs want to see because that means Your healing correctly… But it’s not something you want to do infront of 6290 people lol… I don’t care how comfy your are with your hubby and fam… Pooping like that in front of people is never comfy lol

    • avatar
      Hil says:

      Nope, I think pooping should NEVER be done in front of people, yet I always have an audience for mine now, granted they are all under 3, but maybe it’s supposed to get us ready for the lack of privacy motherhood brings?

  10. avatar
    Alana says:

    This is an excellent, thorough post! There is so much you aren’t told. My labour ended in a c-section but still, my humility went out the window. NO fun!

  11. avatar
    Tricia says:

    Yes to all of these! My first was so crazy. It went by really fast. They sent me home because I was only a cm dilated only to go back an hour later at 7 cm. I was shaking uncontrollably from the pain which I didn’t realize was normal. Thankfully, the second time around when I got to 9 cm I knew it was perfectly normal that I was shaking. haha ALSO, someone told me that the pushing part does not hurt. I remember being really shocked with how bad it hurt when it came time to push.
    Tricia recently posted…8 Things to Do with Your Kids to Stay Active This WinterMy Profile

    • avatar
      Hil says:

      Pushing doesn’t hurt?!?! Ok they lied!! As I said it feels like you are trying to poop out a Saint Bernard! It HURTS!! Oh man, you dilated quick no wonder you were in so much pain and shaking!

  12. avatar
    Healing Mama says:

    I had a c-section with my first, and a VBAC with my second, and boy was I in for a rude awakening. I hated how everyone was all in my crotch it was so embarrassing.

    • avatar
      Hil says:

      I had a midwife too, but I guess with my first it just took so long they had to check a few times? Not sure but aren’t midwives awesome!!

  13. avatar
    Julie @ Logger's Wife says:

    At most, I only had the doctor, two nurses, and my husband in the room. I am so thankful I did not have your experience with that. Some of this stuff I was told/read about but how painful it was to be checked was not one of them. I cried at one point when the nurse said she needed to check. Which actually made her start crying she felt so bad for me. Contractions were so much better that them checking to see how dilated I was.

    It’s also possible I swore at my doctor when she told me I wasn’t progressing fast enough. She forgave me later. lol. I get to do it all over again in May, 4 years after my first child. Not really looking forward to it but can’t wait to meet this baby. 🙂 (visiting from Welcome Home Wednesday)

    • avatar
      Hil says:

      ha ha! Sounds like you had a super sympathetic nurse. Your a pro now 🙂 Already know what to expect so it will be a breeze. Good luck and hope the rest of your pregnancy goes super smoothly.

  14. avatar
    Tamara says:

    I LOVE this! So much yes. All dignity goes out the window. Now, try having one of your blog readers be your nurse in the room too 😉

    • avatar
      Hil says:

      If it was so bad people wouldn’t do it again and have multiple kids 🙂 The birth part I didn’t find bad, I’d do that again, it was the pregnancy part that did me in.

  15. avatar
    Tarynn Playle says:

    I was prepared for most of these, but I had never heard of transition. When it was happening and I couldn’t stop shaking like crazy, I was scared because I didn’t know it was normal. I had an emergency C section with my first so the transition was very intense. I had a VBAC with my second and it wasn’t nearly as bad.

    • avatar
      Hil says:

      Wow, congrats! A VBAC has its own set of stuff, I had the shakes too, it took hours to dissipate with both, I was also so freezing they were putting heated blankets on me. So many things you don’t know before hand!

  16. avatar
    Kimberly Cox says:

    So much truth in this post. I didn’t get to go through labor at all. My oldest was breech so we had a scheduled C-Section and my 2nd was conceived less than a year after her sister was born, so we had to do a repeat section with her. I am on the fence about how much stuff I “missed” lol.

    • avatar
      Hil says:

      They each have their pros and cons. I have a few friends who did both and said that not pushing or having to undergo the contractions as long was worth the C-section.

  17. avatar
    Mary-the boondocks blog says:

    Everything y ou’ve said is to true. And let’s not forget that years after, you still remember how to do your breathing excercises or you remember the exact spot you had to focus on when you were breathing. And of course it all disappears after!

  18. avatar
    Bev says:

    I was shocked how painful the afterbirth was. I figured after delivering my daughter the placenta would basically just slide right out. Not so much! Also, how uncomfortable I was for several weeks afterwards. Getting stitches is no joke! For me, though, I was surprised about how much I didn’t care about strangers seeing make naked and using the bathroom. I’m usually a very modest person, but it all went out the window for those hours I was in the hospital in labor!

    • avatar
      Hil says:

      so true on all accounts. It’s amazing how our bodies and minds just get down to the business of having a baby and block out the other stuff until it’s over.

  19. avatar
    Denise says:

    This post actually inspired a post for me that I will have to add to my list but you are right. The first baby always brings a few shocks.

  20. avatar
    Hannah @Sunshine and Spoons says:

    I was warned that I might poop on the table during pushing…no one warned me that I might also pee while pushing. Straight up, like a fountain. Right in front of my husband and the nurse. Yeah, that was embarrassing. My husband was informed that this is something which we will never speak of again.

  21. avatar
    Marianne says:

    I gave birth in my own house, but I had to go to the hospital afterwards. I never realised that all my shame would go away… I talked about general stuff while others looked at my … ehm… you know… special place hahahaha.
    I also never knew that you could be in doubt if labour was starting or not, because it took me hours to realise my son was actually coming!

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