Date Night Challenge #6 – Communication 

 

If you have not heard of the Five Love Languages, you are seriously missing out.  This is based on Gary Chapman’s theory that everyone has five basic love languages, but every one of us is different in how we perceive our love languages.  The five love languages are:

  • Acts of Service
  • Receiving Gifts
  • Quality Time
  • Physical Affection
  • Words of Affirmations

If you want to truly show your partner that you love them, then you need to focus on THEIR love languages.  For example I am big on acts of service, if my husband wants to show me he loves me, lessen my workload!  Put the kids to bed, empty the dishwasher etc.  A hug is awesome and sweet, but nothing says love like a clean house that I didn’t have to clean!  Whereas, my husband is more along the lines of affection, so while I clean the house for him to show him I care, that means nothing to him, a big hug and a kiss when he comes home from work would mean a lot more to him.  It is really important to make sure that you are gearing your appreciation towards each other based on THEIR love language and not yours.  That is how you make sure that your partner knows you truly care.

Come participate in #RFAKDateNightChallenge, easy dates to do at home once kids are in bed. Click To Tweet

 

Date Night Challenge 6 IG

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Your mission for date night tonight, kind of like a fun productive homework assignment, discover your love languages and talk about it so you are on the same page.

What is your #lovelanguage? Do you know what your partner's is? Click To Tweet

Materials needed:

  • Computer, laptop, tablet, etc. ideally two so you can each do it at the same time.
  • A beverage of choice, hot chocolate, scotch, etc.

IMG_7779Log in to the website, and fill out the survey as honestly as you can.  Make sure at the end you use the e-mail option to send your partner a copy of your results.  Spend some time reviewing your results so you understand what your love language is.  Understanding your love language needs is very important in helping your partner understand you and giving you better clarity of what you need/want in a relationship.

Next review your partner’s results while they review yours.  Take some time to read and understand the top love languages for them.  It is also a great way to show you how they may be trying in their own way to tell you how much they love you all the time, but because that is not your language you did not understand, now you understand to look for those signs as a way they try to tell you they care.

Put the devices away and talk.  Understand what your partner needs to feel loved and appreciated.   Brainstorm some ways and ideas in which you can ensure you are making your partner feel needed and loved and speak to them in their “love language”.

I found the results very interesting, my husband and I realized that we had been speaking very different languages.  It also helped us understand that we had been showing each other love and appreciation, but in our own way which may not have been interpreted as such.  It is also good to know and be more understanding, my husband’s love language of physical touch was very high on his list, so when he hugs me and holds my hand, he is telling me a lot more than I realized he was.  Top of my list was gifts, (which was the bottom of his) so he had no idea how much love and effort I tried to put into gifts for him.  We both learned a lot about each other and how to help the other feel loved.

Date Night Challenge 6 PT

I am not affiliated or making any money whatsoever off this post, I just think the love languages are super cool and productive.  I know there are a few love languages books, but I have not read it yet. I hope to soon!

When was the last time you connected with your spouse? Come join us! #RFAKDateNightChallenge Click To Tweet

Have you heard of the love languages?  What are your top love languages?  If you have read the book do you recommend them?

Please comment below if you try this out. There are a few other date night challenges you can try as well.  Use the hashtag #RFAKDateNightChallenge if you post on Instagram and Twitter.

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Date Night Challenge 6 TW

 

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A mom of two trying to stay sane while running a household, working part-time from home and looking after her baby, toddler and husband.

47 comments

  1. avatar
    Candy says:

    Acts of kindness, giving service to hubby or acts of love doesn’t matter what you call it. Doing the little things that make his life easier, gives more relax time, special meal or a note left in his lunch box. All become special and build a relationship.
    Candy recently posted…Baked SpaghettiMy Profile

    • avatar
      Hil says:

      Yes! Those are so cute! I agree fully. Doing things to make hubby’s life easier is a great way to support him.

  2. avatar
    Amanda | Maple Alps says:

    I love the five love languages! My husband and I did this early on in our dating relationship. It really helps to understand not only your partner’s, but your own love language. It makes a world of difference for sure!

  3. avatar
    Noel says:

    I LOVE the love languages. I read a singles version of the book before I got married and then made my then boyfriend read it. We realized that some of our arguments were due to the fact that we were loving each other in the wrong language. Now, 6 years later, I take the test again and realized my languages have changed! It makes sense, since we change as people as we age, our love language can change as well!

    • avatar
      Hil says:

      That’s so cool. A good reminder to take it again eventually because you are right, people change. Speaking the right language is so important so it’s a great idea to update.

  4. avatar
    Cianna says:

    I’ve been meaning to read this. I really wish my boyfriend would do it with me, but he’s not big on these things. I’d be interested to see how his is! 🙂 I might have to bring it up again!

    • avatar
      Hil says:

      My hubby isn’t big in it either, but it’s all how you approach it. Let’s work on our relationship, let’s communicate better, etc. you may be surprised at his reaction, I was with my hubby’s.

    • avatar
      Hil says:

      Thanks so much Jonathan. It’s true all five are important but a few are the most important to focus on for your partner.

  5. avatar
    Keating says:

    I love the 5 love languages and recommend it to every couple. My husband and I experienced a huge disconnect between the two of us when we first got married and it ended up being because we had different love languages. He’s more of an acts of service kind of person whereas I’m more of a words of affirmation kind of person. Since we discovered this, our marriage has greatly improved. It’s so important to know and understand your spouse’s love language so that you can communicate and show one another your love in a way your spouse will understand.
    Keating recently posted…You Know You’re A Milspouse When…My Profile

    • avatar
      Hil says:

      Yes! I completely agree. I find when my husband and I have a hard time it’s because we are not communicating effectively too, time to get back to our basic languages 🙂

  6. avatar
    Koninika says:

    I didn’t know about this so was a refreshing post/read for me. Communication is the first most important thing in all relationships so that would make language very important as well. Such a relatable post and helpful information for everyone.

  7. avatar
    Krista says:

    I think we naturally try to love our spouses (people) in our love language, instead of understanding their love language. Which can lead to frustration and misunderstandings.

    However, noticing that they have been trying to show you love all along (just the wrong language for you) is good advice.

    Enjoyed your post.

  8. avatar
    Girl says:

    This has given me an idea for our next date night. I’m really looking forward to it. Thank you for the inspiration! 🙂

  9. avatar
    Danjuma says:

    communication does it all for me so I will say a big yes to this post..tnx alot….by d way I made changes to my blog now using your template. I was inspired by you.

  10. avatar
    TheOrdinaryGirl (@mash_01x) says:

    I am married to an artist, when I myself have little or no creativity. He is super sensitive and his language of love requires very strong, visible affection and words of affirmation.. plus at times he needs complete solitude to work on his projects. So providing him that conducive environment is also my promise of love 🙂

    Loved this post!
    TheOrdinaryGirl (@mash_01x) recently posted…Small WondersMy Profile

  11. avatar
    Khansa says:

    I am going to bookmark this post. I havent been married for a very long time yet but I am sure this will make a lot of difference in our happiness together. Thanks for sharing

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