If you have not heard of the Five Love Languages, you are seriously missing out. This is based on Gary Chapman’s theory that everyone has five basic love languages, but every one of us is different in how we perceive our love languages. The five love languages are:
- Acts of Service
- Receiving Gifts
- Quality Time
- Physical Affection
- Words of Affirmations
If you want to truly show your partner that you love them, then you need to focus on THEIR love languages. For example I am big on acts of service, if my husband wants to show me he loves me, lessen my workload! Put the kids to bed, empty the dishwasher etc. A hug is awesome and sweet, but nothing says love like a clean house that I didn’t have to clean! Whereas, my husband is more along the lines of affection, so while I clean the house for him to show him I care, that means nothing to him, a big hug and a kiss when he comes home from work would mean a lot more to him. It is really important to make sure that you are gearing your appreciation towards each other based on THEIR love language and not yours. That is how you make sure that your partner knows you truly care.
Your mission for date night tonight, kind of like a fun productive homework assignment, discover your love languages and talk about it so you are on the same page.
- Computer, laptop, tablet, etc. ideally two so you can each do it at the same time.
- A beverage of choice, hot chocolate, scotch, etc.
Log in to the website, and fill out the survey as honestly as you can. Make sure at the end you use the e-mail option to send your partner a copy of your results. Spend some time reviewing your results so you understand what your love language is. Understanding your love language needs is very important in helping your partner understand you and giving you better clarity of what you need/want in a relationship.
Next review your partner’s results while they review yours. Take some time to read and understand the top love languages for them. It is also a great way to show you how they may be trying in their own way to tell you how much they love you all the time, but because that is not your language you did not understand, now you understand to look for those signs as a way they try to tell you they care.
Put the devices away and talk. Understand what your partner needs to feel loved and appreciated. Brainstorm some ways and ideas in which you can ensure you are making your partner feel needed and loved and speak to them in their “love language”.
I found the results very interesting, my husband and I realized that we had been speaking very different languages. It also helped us understand that we had been showing each other love and appreciation, but in our own way which may not have been interpreted as such. It is also good to know and be more understanding, my husband’s love language of physical touch was very high on his list, so when he hugs me and holds my hand, he is telling me a lot more than I realized he was. Top of my list was gifts, (which was the bottom of his) so he had no idea how much love and effort I tried to put into gifts for him. We both learned a lot about each other and how to help the other feel loved.
I am not affiliated or making any money whatsoever off this post, I just think the love languages are super cool and productive. I know there are a few love languages books, but I have not read it yet. I hope to soon!
Have you heard of the love languages? What are your top love languages? If you have read the book do you recommend them?
Please comment below if you try this out. There are a few other date night challenges you can try as well. Use the hashtag #RFAKDateNightChallenge if you post on Instagram and Twitter.
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